Being Smart and Looking Rich
I once had a roommate who refused to shop at discount and second-hand stores because she didn’t want people to think she was poor.
She would rather be seen as rich than smart.
The sad thing is that her attitude is all too common these days: with teenagers in the house I see it all the time. They want the newest and most fashionable everything – even if it’s overpriced crap – just because it is in style.
There isn’t much you can do about a teenager’s sense of style, some of them haven’t figured out how to wear pants yet; but it’s always possible to try and instill good habits when it comes to spending money.
This is even more important when they’re spending my money.
Today’s topic is bargains, discounts, and second-hand stores: and why the emphasis on having people think she was rich only made my roommate look foolish.
Quality is quality: and since frugality is as much about spending your money wisely as it is about buying cheaply, it’s important to keep that in mind.
Now in her defense, my roommate had other quirks too: but they aren’t relevant to today’s discussion. I don’t know if she was afraid to be seen going somewhere like the Salvation Army, or just thought everyone would somehow know if she bought something anywhere but the most expensive store, but there was one thing she completely missed.
Once you put a pair of pants on no one can tell where you bought them.
I don’t know about you, and I certainly don’t know about her (I haven’t seen her in ten years and that’s a good thing), but I take the price tags off things before I wear them. As far as I know, that’s pretty normal behavior. All buying at second-hand stores and outlet malls and discounters does is save you money.
The trick, which I never managed with that roommate, is to get people past the mindset of worrying about how things appear to others.
One option, which can work well with teenagers is to let them know that you can buy some item at the expensive store: OR they can get it at the less expensive store and keep the price difference. Obviously, you don’t want to do this every time because it wouldn’t be frugal, but if you do it right it will drive the lesson home. (Especially if you have two teens and they choose different options.)
Buying second hand can be a bit harder pill to get across: Especially as many second hand stores have a lot of less than desirable clothes on the racks. One way to do it is to go in with a goal.
Decide what you want and look for the cheapest place to get it
Look at discount and second-hand stores but don’t force them to buy from there. That way they won’t feel the stigma of getting something from the Salvation Army or Goodwill. It’s all part of maintaining the proper mindset and remembering that every dollar spent on the wrong thing is a dollar wasted.
The real point to take away from this is that the same thing is the same thing no matter where you get it.
Everything’s used as soon as you get it out of the box too.
It’s not worth anyone’s time, effort or even money to worry about where you got something or whether you paid full price or not. People don’t wear their receipts on their sleeves. Yes, some people may think it’s ‘cool’ to show up somewhere with shopping bags from the most expensive and exclusive store in New York (or London, Paris, Toronto, Washington or Tokyo): but it’s what’s inside the bag you’re buying, not the shopping bag.
The saddest thing about that former roommate of mine?
She never did understand that rich people get that way by never paying more than they have to for something.
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Good idea on the whole clothes issue. My 16-year-old is starting to see the value of saving, especially since he now has a job
The teenager fashion thing seems easy to address. Parents buy the basics, and the child buys the fashions – whatever they can afford. There is nothing like having the money come out of their pocket (or stay in their pocket) to give them a healthy dose of reality. After all, that’s how it works in real life and we should be preparing our children for that eventuality.
My stepson wanted a phone of his own, so he got a job to pay for the luxury. When he lost his job, he lost his phone.
Fashions are a luxury in my mind. Just like the large styled chrome wheels on SUVs. To me it’s a utility vehicle with wheels, to many others it’s a fashion statement. As long as they’re paying for all the “peacocking” around town, I don’t much care.
Clair